Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why Do I Even Bother Leaving The House?

OK, so last weekend Crazy and Clueless and I decide to go out since we hadn't been out in ages. I was game, hell I needed a girls night out. Then they told me where they wanted to go and the shit went down hill from there.

There is this "club" and I use that term loosely, here in Baltimore where nothing but old people flock to. I will not disclose the name of said club as I don't want a bunch of senior citizens wagging their canes at me as I walk down the street.

Don't get me wrong, I love old people. Hell, I'm an "older" person and one butt cheek away from a rocking chair myself. I have been "crunchy and achy" since I hit middle age but I don't want to party with people 25 plus years older then me.

I knew this evening could not go well.

As soon as we walk into the "club" 2 guys were coming out at the same time and one of them, who obviously had one too many glasses of Manischewitz spun his head around and looked at our group and said, "Whoa! Sexy meat coming in!" Seriously grandpa?

We make it in and find a table and proceed to sit there and talk amongst ourselves. A song comes on and we get up to dance and this guy that looked like he has been collecting social security for the better part of 20 years gets in front of me and starts to move around. I THINK it was dancing but I can't be sure.

I thanked him and sat my ass down quickly. I just can't.

I noticed that there was a kitchen in the back that looked like it was open. I was starving so I decided to check it out. They only served chicken wings, french fries and hot dogs. I kid you not. So I ordered my 5 wings, took them to my table and sat my ass there for the rest of the evening.

Why do I even bother?