Renewing of wedding vows should be a meaningful event …….right? It’s pretty significant right?
Well, a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine and her husband decided to renew their marriage vows in church on a Sunday. Several of us (friends and family) gathered at this church to witness this event and to lend our support.
Let’s backtrack a minute shall we? About 7 ½ years ago hubby (we’ll call him Dumbass) cheated on his wife and tore their family apart. They have two children and have been married for 11 years at that point. The wife (we’ll call her Clueless) was so devastated by Dumbass’s indiscretion that she put him out of the house. He eventually moved in with the bimbo he cheated with. For the next three years Clueless and Dumbass were apart but communicating for the sake of the kids. Clueless never stopped wanted to reunite her family. Dumbass didn’t really seem all that interested in coming back into the family fold. He seemed quite happy with Bimbo.
Well, as fate would have it, Dumbass fell ill. He had a minor stroke. See how fate and karma work? Anyway, Clueless sees this as her golden opportunity to take her wifely duties to heart and reunite the family at the same time by bringing Dumbass back into the home and caring for him during his recovery.
It’s now been four years since they’ve been reunited and from the outside things look fine between them. He’s fully recovered and has since commenced to working two jobs to keep the family afloat while Clueless stays at home and runs a small daycare that really is not bringing in much money.
Its recently come to light that Dumbass is back out there cheating again. With not one woman but THREE different women now. His DUMBASS told a close friend of the both of them about these three women. This friend is conflicted because he really likes Clueless but doesn’t want to hurt her.
It is my firm belief that we women KNOW when our men are out there cheating whether we what to acknowledge it or not. We know. I knew when my husband was cheating. Clueless knows too. She told a mutual friend of ours that she had a dream that Dumbass was cheating on her again but she brushed it off as nothing more then a dream. Yeah….ok.
Anyway, fast forward to this marriage vow renewal ceremony. We are all gathered to witness these couples renew their marriage vows before God, friends and family. I am sitting next to my girlfriend T (we’ll call her Crazy because she cracks me up ALL the time! Lol) Anyway, so Crazy and I are sitting there together and we keep giving each other the side glances because we know this whole thing is a farce. The Priest tells the men to repeat after him, “I promise to love, honor and be faithful…” SCREECH!!!! Stop the presses. Dumbass looks his wife straight in the eye and says those very words with a straight face! Wow! Then for dramatic purposes he begins to tear up. Yeah…right.
Crazy and I just side glance each other and nearly bust a gut trying NOT to burst out laughing hysterically.
The whole service lasted 3 hours!!!! I was out done. Crazy leans in to me and says, “I’m gonna pray this man shuts up.” She then leans up close to the pew in front of her and puts her hands together as if to pray and then says, “Lord, please stop….” That was it. I turned away from her and just cracked up laughing. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The woman in front of us turned around and scowled at us as if to say “Shut the hell up!” then turned back around. Crazy almost got us thrown out of church!!!
It was planned days prior that after church we’d all go out to dinner at a local restaurant. Why did Dumbass all of a sudden become too tired to attend the dinner? Hmmm…yeah…ok.
At dinner Clueless says, “Did you all notice that Dumbass started crying in church?” Crazy and I look at her and simply say, “Yep.” Clueless says, “Dumbass is going through some thing. I don’t know what but he’ll work it out.” Hmmm…could it be that he was feeling guilty for lying in church in front of GOD?! Could it be he promised to be faithful but he doesn’t know the meaning of the word?
Crazy and I just look with blank stares. You know what the hell your husband is going through. You just don’t want to face it again.
