Showing posts with label oops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oops. Show all posts

Sunday, May 1, 2011

One Dress Should Not Cause THIS Much Drama!

So, last Sunday I walk into White House Black Market, one of my most favoritest stores ever!, and saw this really beautiful white strapless dress. I get their catalog and saw it in there and fell in love before I ever saw it in person. So I get to the store and immediately try on the dress and viole! The dress fits amazingly and looks really good on me. Want to see the dress? Here it is!



It looks way better on me then her but whatevs. I bought it at the Baltimore store when I got there on travel for business. So I was scheduled to be in Baltimore until Friday afternoon so I had the dress hanging in the hotel closet all week. I was all giddy with excitement trying to figure out just the perfect place to wear this treasure then it hit me! I had a fundraiser at this really swanky hotel in downtown Atlanta the following Saturday when I returned home.

So, fast forward to Friday. I go to the airport at the end of my work day ready to board the next thing smoking back to Atlanta. I get on the plane, stow the dress that is nicely protected by a beautiful black garment bag given to me by the store clerk. I take my seat and try to relax a bit until we touch down.

Fast forward 2 hours and I am grabbing my carry on's and exiting the plane with the quickness because I am anxious to get home. I get down to baggage claim and as I reach down and grab my red suite case from the carousel I immediately loudly exclaimed, "SHIT!" as I realized I left the garment bag with my beloved white strapless dress pictured above in the over head compartment on the plane! I start to freak out and I run to the lost baggage area to see if they can call someone to go on the plane and retrieve my bag. Simple right? Not so much. They call and no one sees the bag. I was told that after they cleaned the plane if it was located they would bring it to lost and found in a matter of hours. I asked if I could go up to the gate and look for the dress myself. The troll lady at the counter send me to ticketing to get a gate pass to go up there. I get to ticketing and "smiling bitch" looks at me completely clueless as to what to do then goes to find someone else to help. Two other people walk by and after a couple of calls and explaining over again my plight I finally get a gate pass but was informed the plane was currently boarding with new passengers on their way to some wonderful far off destination I'm sure. I go back to the lost baggage area and asked the folks if I could leave my bags there as I would make better time running through the airport without lugging a suite case and a large computer bag in toe. They refused. Good times. I run as fast as I could with all that crap I had to get through security. Aaaawww, the wonderful TSA agents. Gotta love them.

They scan my bag and proceed to pull me over to the side and go through my bag. I scream at them that I am tyring to retrieve my bag and the plane was about to leave. They did not care. They go through my stuff and take out my nail polish remover, lotion, hair spray, hair product and body wash. I am getting further pissed because I need my stuff. You all know how expensive Bath and Body works and hair products can be. They proceed to throw my shit away further exacerbating the issue. I finally get out of there and RUN to the gate and guess what? Go ahead, guess. Exactly, the plane is gone and there is no sign of my bag. I am pissed.

I go back to the lost baggage office. If any of you have ever gone in and out of Atlanta Hartsfield Airport you know that nothing is close by. I had to ride train after train to get to where I needed to go followed by running down long hallways.

Anyway, I get back to the lost baggage office and they tell me, again, there is nothing they could do and all I can do is go on a website and explain what happened. Um yeah. I get home hours later and proceed to do just that.

I get up and call the airline first thing and get a recorded line and nothing else. I decide that I really want this dress for that fundraiser later that night so I go to the White House Black Market store in The Mall of Georgia. I buy the dress again and wear it and look fabulous I might add. Had a great night.

The next morning, today, I get up and head back to the airport to go back to Baltimore for the week and decide to make one last effort to see if they could find my original dress. Lo and behold I found one nice lady that decided to make a few phone calls that were not made that Friday night. While she is making calls she is also filling out a report that was never taken when this whole thing went down. She finds out that my dress is hanging up at the very gate I came in on a couple nights ago. I run over to the gate and viole! my dress in hanging in a cubby. I am beyond thrilled.

I make it all the way to the opposite end of the corridor to my actual gate and hop on my plane to head back to Baltimore. I land and hot tail it over to the original store I first bought the dress and return it for a full refund so after all of that alls well and ends well.

Oy vey!




Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I Finally Figured It Out

Ok folks. I finally figured out why I don't have a man.

I was in the employee break room yesterday morning getting coffee so that I could curb my hunger until lunch time when I noticed my crush was already in there. It seems that every morning I go in there he is there. Anyway, I give him a very nonchalant, "Morning". Very cool. Never give 'em too much.

I was dumping my 15th package of sugar in my mug when I turned around to deposit it into the trash can then IT happened. I tripped over my feet!! There was nothing on the ground! I stumbled on nothing! I did what any self respecting clutz would do, I looked down to see what I may have tripped over. Smooth.

Yeah people, I'm smooth.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Me And My Hair-Brain Schemes

I’m going to reveal something here to you that you may not know about me. I was reluctant to reveal this because I didn’t want to ruin the perfect, goddess, diva image you have of me but it’s time I come clean. I dye my hair! I know…I know…..! It’s shocking but since we are all one big dysfuntional family I can share that.

One day early last week it was time to touch up my dye job because the gray was taking over (Damn gray hair!). Anyway, a few days after I purchased the dye kit I decide to actually open the box and dye my hair. You can imagine my horror when I realized that the Step 1 bottle (the activator) was missing! NOOOOOOO!

I combed through the entire house looking for the receipt so that I could take this useless piece of shit dye kit back to the store. You will not believe this but that receipt was no where to be found! I know right!

What am I to do? It was then that I got the bright idea to go to a different store and purchase a new dye kit and just return the useless kit back to this latest store for a refund. Brilliant right?

Follow me here because this gets tricky…..I put the “old” kit in the plastic store bag and threw the new kit way (box included) after I used it. I took the "new" receipt and the old box back to the store for my refund. The clerk scans the box. Wait a minute. He is scanning the BOX? I thought he only needed the receipt. He scanned it once, then scanned it again then looked at me and said “The system said this is an invalid box?” Huh? I did what any self respecting scammer would do I simply asked him, “Are you sure?” and batted my eyes for effect. He assured me I was getting no money this day. Drats!

“Hmmmm…maybe the boxes got switched.” I said as I gathered my contraband and walked out with my head held down. If I was smart I would have put the old kit in the new box and taken that to the store. Me and my hair-brain schemes.


Friday, January 16, 2009

How Old Do I Look?

“Guess how old I am.” I hate those words. I am horrible at trying to guess a person’s age. I will never ask anyone to guess mine because if they tell me I look older then I am they will need an emergency extraction team to forcibly extract my foot from their ass. Just that simple.

When the Verizon FiOS guy came to hook me up several weeks ago we began a casual conversation, no big deal. During said conversation he asked how old he looked. I told him in his early 40’s sure that I was good because hell, he looked closer to 50. He then said “I get that all the time, I’m actually 35.”

Oops.