Me And My Hair-Brain Schemes

I’m going to reveal something here to you that you may not know about me. I was reluctant to reveal this because I didn’t want to ruin the perfect, goddess, diva image you have of me but it’s time I come clean. I dye my hair! I know…I know…..! It’s shocking but since we are all one big dysfuntional family I can share that.

One day early last week it was time to touch up my dye job because the gray was taking over (Damn gray hair!). Anyway, a few days after I purchased the dye kit I decide to actually open the box and dye my hair. You can imagine my horror when I realized that the Step 1 bottle (the activator) was missing! NOOOOOOO!

I combed through the entire house looking for the receipt so that I could take this useless piece of shit dye kit back to the store. You will not believe this but that receipt was no where to be found! I know right!

What am I to do? It was then that I got the bright idea to go to a different store and purchase a new dye kit and just return the useless kit back to this latest store for a refund. Brilliant right?

Follow me here because this gets tricky…..I put the “old” kit in the plastic store bag and threw the new kit way (box included) after I used it. I took the "new" receipt and the old box back to the store for my refund. The clerk scans the box. Wait a minute. He is scanning the BOX? I thought he only needed the receipt. He scanned it once, then scanned it again then looked at me and said “The system said this is an invalid box?” Huh? I did what any self respecting scammer would do I simply asked him, “Are you sure?” and batted my eyes for effect. He assured me I was getting no money this day. Drats!

“Hmmmm…maybe the boxes got switched.” I said as I gathered my contraband and walked out with my head held down. If I was smart I would have put the old kit in the new box and taken that to the store. Me and my hair-brain schemes.