I’ve recently read a few blog posts, listened to a couple of radio broadcasts and even posted a letter from a reader in my Ask Tee feature all regarding the same subject; men secretly sleeping with other men.
I don’t have a problem with homosexuality. Hell, I would love to have a gay male best friend. I love the gays. My problem is when these men are married or otherwise in a committed relationship with women and have this secret life going on that involves sleeping with other men. From a woman’s standpoint this is absolutely disgusting. The level of betrayal by this behavior is gut wrenching.
Fellas, let me tell you just what we women experience when you engage in such behavior: we go through many, many sleepless nights crying so hard our eyes are painful and swollen and yet we can’t stop crying because the pain is so deep (just the mere mention of your name opens the flood gates), we wonder what we did to make you prefer a man to us, we wonder if we were ever good enough, we try our hardest to figure out what we did wrong.
Do these men really fully comprehend the destruction that this behavior leaves in its wake? Think about it. You vow to love, honor and protect this person. You let the person trust you with everything in them and you shatter that to smithereens.
Do these men feel guilty about what they have done? I fully believe that these men engage in this behavior and keep it a secret for very selfish reasons: ‘I love my wife and don’t want to lose her.’ ‘I will lose my job if I tell everyone how I really feel.’ ‘My friends and family will not accept me if I tell them what I’ve been up to.’ All very selfish reasons. You ultimately destroy your family and another person’s life and ability to ever fully trust again because you were afraid to come clean with your feelings to protect yourself.
With so many of these stories coming to light it makes me wonder, do most men have this desire to sleep with other men? Is it something that most men feel but only some have the guts to act on it? Are men such uber sexual creatures that this is somehow just another way to push the envelop even further?
What do you all think?