I attended a wedding this weekend. My little cousin got married and it was a lovely event. His aunts and uncles and grandfather made the drive to Maryland from South Carolina for the nuptials.
His aunts and uncles are my cousins and his grandfather is my aunts husband. It was great seeing all of them since I hadn't seen them in about 7 years or so since my aunts death.
Although I was looking forward to seeing them I was also a little apprehensive. You see, I never hear from them at all but they periodically call my younger brother Kevin.
When they arrived on Friday, they called Kevin but I didn't hear a peep from them. My brother drove over and hung out with them but no one thought to call me.
I have a few other cousins that live here in MD that I only see during family get togethers but yet again, they are in constant contact with both of my brothers. I found out at the wedding that they had all arranged a get together where they all hung out and had a grand ol' time but no one thought to call me. Hmmmmm....
The more I thought about things the more I began to feel as an outsider in my very own family. I have a younger cousin named Ann that seemed to have cut herself off entirely from the family. No one has seen or heard from her in years. I personally hadn't seen her since my fathers death in 93. Thinking about her last night I totally understand her now.
Is there no wonder I will not look back ONCE when I leave MD? I think I will do just what Ann did and just cut everyone out when I leave.
Have you ever felt like an outsider in your own family?
