I have been doing some real soul searching as of late. Taking a real inventory of my life and the choices I've made.
Reading Karen's blog, I was prompted to go ahead and post this. As I said before, I have been pondering this for awhile, going back and forth on whether or not I should post it then after reading Karen's blog I decided to say "Screw it!" and post.
I have had a really good life. I have been blessed beyond belief. I have had two married parents my entire life that took a real interest in my life. Often times much to my dismay. LOL Although they weren't the deepest or most affectionate of people I always knew they loved me. I'm sure growing up that way has made me leary of getting into deep, relationships with people. There are times I want to get closer to people but something just holds me back. It's like I am unable to give more of myself then I do and don't know how to change that. Weird I know.
Don't get me wrong, I have a few really good friends that I love dearly but still I feel that something is missing in those relationships. I never wanted for anything growing up. Whatever I needed and wanted my parents provided. Even to this day, although I am not rich I am blessed in that if there is something (within reason) I want I can have.
I also thought about things that I am passionate about. Am I passionate about anything? I really don't know. There are organizations I have thought about getting involved in. Projects I wanted to start but for some reason I either am not motivated to get started or I lose interest mid way through so consequently I have all these ideas and projects that I started but never completed.
It led me to ask myself this question, 'Has there been ANYTHING that I have seen to completion?' The more I thought on it the more I realized, I have not completed anything I started and that is a pretty sad commentary.
It further led me to wonder why is it that I can't seem to take hold of a project and see it to completion. I mean sure, at work I start and complete projects all day long because I have to but if my feet aren't held to the fire, why can't I see things through....stay focused?
It got me to thinking that maybe I'm borderline ADD.
Hmmmmm....is anyone else like this? Starts things or has ideas but lack the motivation or focus to see it through? Or is it just me?
