It all started one fateful Saturday afternoon in the grocery store. I was perusing the frozen dinner section as that is all I ever have in my house since you all know I do not cook. Remember this little gem? Yeah.
So I was minding my own business when this guy walks up to me and "accidentally" bumps my cart. He apologizes and all and I was like "No problem, it's cool." He then makes small flirtatious conversation then hit me with the big question, "You want to hang out sometime?" I checked my mental date book and realized it had cobwebs so I said yes and gave him my number. He called the next day and asked to go to dinner on Monday evening. I agreed and the deed was done. I had a date for Monday evening. I wasn't excited or nervous or anything. I was just....just... blah. I've been on way too many dates that have gone nowhere to get all wigged out on this.
Monday comes and I meet him at the appointed restaurant. He leans in for a hug and I got a whiff of the most horrific cologne known to man. Funny. He wasn't wearing that when I first met him. I held my nose and sat down at our table.
We made small talk, all very superficial when he jumps up and says very loudly, "I'll be right back, I have to go take a leak." The people at the table across from us turned their heads toward us, glanced at me then turned away. Ooookkkaaaayyyy.
He returns to the table, the food arrives and he grabs the fork as if it was a miniature shovel and begins shoveling the food into his mouth. Dude, spend time in prison much? He then tries to hold a conversation with said food in his mouth visible for all creation to see.
Yeah, he'll score another date. With gems like him, why am I still single?
