This Isn't What I Signed Up For!

Ok, we all know that as we age things change. Our bodies fall victim to gravity, the hair starts to thin and so many other things happen. When I was a preteen running around junior high (Yeah it was called junior high back then NOT middle school so shut up!! lol) I never thought that one day I would be considered…..dare I even say it…..MIDDLE AGED! UGH!!!

One day, my mother and I were in the midst of extreme errrand running. Oh its a sport my friend..trust me. I parked my car at our first stop of the day and reached up above my head to pull down the sun visor and gave myself a once over to make sure I looked presentable before getting out of the car. As I looked I noticed something I wasn't too happy about. I moved in closer to get a better look. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I had…oh goodness…I had BAGS under my eyes!!!

I shrieked, “MOM!!!! I have bags under my eyes!!! I’m getting old!!! “

She just ever so calmly looks over at me and says, “Your grandmother had them too.”

*blank stare*

Is there a state in this country where murdering mothers is legal. *sigh*

Teenage Parties

Last weekend I attended a friend's daughter's Sweet 16 birthday party. She threw the party in conjunction with another one of her girlfriends that was also having a birthday.

It was a cute little party. There were several young girls and boys in attendance. What I found very interesting though was that throughout the entire evening the kids stood in the middle of the dance floor and several times I noticed that the boys stood on one side of the floor while the girls stood on the other. I don't think they once intermingled enough to dance with each other.

I looked at one of my girlfriends that were there and said, "Look at them! Were we ever like that?"

Her answer "NO!"

I've been trying to remember back to the dark ages when I was their age and wondered if we were like that. Scared to interact and dance with one another. Too shy to really get too close to the opposite sex.

Maybe it was just my hot ass always wanting to get close to the cute boy at the dance then. Oh well.

I thought Water Was Supposed To Be Clear

Since the sudden blazing of my beloved home, I had decided that the bamboo plants we had would be better served sitting on my desk at work.

I notice this morning that I needed to water them so I would not be labeled a plant murderer. I couldn't live with that guilt. *straight face* I saunter over to the kitchen and fill 2 styrofoam cups with water. As I am filling said cups I notice that the water had a decided yellow tint. What the hell??!!

YUCK!!! Are humans supposed to drink that toxic sludge?

I guess they never heard of filters.

Thank God I'mma bottle water girl (The few times a year I actually drink water).

Yaaaayyyyy Me!!

People, people, people. Let me tell you. Sunday before last I sat around my hotel room just eating a bag of Grandma Utz's. A whole big bag....by myself!! For those of you that don't know, they are the devil! Oh my goodness they are good.

Well, I ate the whole bag, by myself. A few hours afterward I started to feel a little....I don't know...a little...yucky. Like I needed to purge my system of all that grease I just consumed. Well I decided right then and there that starting the very next day (last Monday) that I was going to go on a crash diet to cleanse my system then kinda maintain good eating habits from then on.

I also decided that I would lose 5 - 10 pounds in the process and maintain that. I must tell you that I feel as though I am overweight for my height but most people keep telling me how tiny I am. Whatever! In my quest I rushed out to the grocery store and bought fruit and yogurt and popcorn and Slimfast and swore off all fried foods and red meats. I'm actually surprised that I've been able to keep this up. I'm pretty proud of myself. I've never been one to watch what I eat or dieted or any of that. I've never been one to gain weight....until recently. Those damn chips lead me to this revelation that I needed to watch what I eat so that I don't feel as yucky as I did that day.

I am happy to announce that I lost a total of 5 pounds in this week and a half that I have been watching what I ate!! Yaaayyyy!! I got on the scale today for the first time because I could actually feel a difference. Something as small as five pounds really made me feel better. I slept better and my waist went in like a half of a half of a mili-inch. lol

I think I am going to keep this up because without all that junk in my system I feel so much better.

I Mean Damn!

Ok, gas just jumped to $4.09. That's it, I'm selling my kidney on eBay.

This is freakin ridiculous!

That's alright, I'm breaking out the Big Wheel and drive that shit to work.

May I Help You?

Ok, first, let me state that I strongly believe that everyone needs to have a healthy dose of self confidence. We all need to feel good about ourselves and that we are worthy of greatness.

With that said, some people take this thing to a whole new level. Case in point, I have a girlfriend that works at Boscov's as a sales associate. She decided to go out one night several months ago to let off some steam and have an exciting ladies night out. In doing so she met this gentleman that she became completely inamerate of. They began to spend quite a bit of time together.

She would call me on a regular basis exclaiming how great he was and how much she liked him.

Well, what's the problem you ask? Well, after the "honeymoon" stage wore off, he suddenly wasn't good enough for her any more. Why you ask, because dude was a department manager for Walgreen's.

When she was explaining her side of things to me I just looked at her with a blank stare. Then I asked her, "Don't you work at Boscov's?"

She replied, "Yeah. Boscov's is cool. It's way higher on the food chain then some Walgreens"

I just blankly looked at her. I mean really...You work retail...he work retail. Are you kidding me with this? At least he's a manager of a department. Your ass is following people around asking them if they need help and picking up their unwanted clothes from a fitting room. Why do you think you are better then he is? Please!

Give the guy a break.

I Am Beyond Outraged!

I can not believe some one, in this day and age, could be so ignorant and cold blooded. I can not describe how outraged I am after viewing this video.

I received this from a coworker who received it from a friend from her synagogue. Unbelievable.

I Just Wanna Smack The Hell Outta You

Have you ever had a friend or associate that just annoyed the hell out of you? No matter what you say they seem to have an opposing view? They never seem to enjoy anything. Always seem to be miserable?

I know such a person and I want to strangle her with my bare hands. UGH!

She was one of the people that was on the Vegas trip I went on last year? We went to see the Chippendales. THE CHIPPENDALE! She sat there, with her purse in her lap, THE WHOLE TIME, motionless, a statue. How the hell do you go to Vegas, get dressed up, hang with your girls and visit the Chippendales and sit your ass in the chair like a bump on the log? That irritated me to no end.

If I say something like, “Men are a pain in the ass but they need understanding.” She’ll come back with, “Not all men.” Bitch, I was just making a general statement. Geesh!

We were talking about the election last night and I was mentioning how exciting this whole thing is. We are witnessing history in the making. Not every generation get to do that. Her response, “Well, whatever, I just want to see what happens if Obama get into the office.”

Bitch, whether he wins the general election or not, the mere fact that he is a democratic nominee is huge. Step out of your box and recognize this for what it is.

I just want to drop kick her in her retina sometimes. Damn!

Hmmmmmm

Let me tell you that I have a whole new respect for the Red Cross. Through out this whole ordeal they have been right there...they were on the scene lickety split. I was surprised and impressed. I'm not sure how they heard of the fire especially so quickly but they were there and really stepped up to the plate. They gave us food vouchers and a hotel for a few nights. They have even called me several times just to check on me. They've been fabulous.

After the initial few days I stayed another few days at my mothers house. My brother and his daughters are staying there for the time being. He asked me to come out there and stay for a while and begrudgingly I accepted his invitation. Why begrudgingly you ask? Well, although my brother went through great pains to clean the house and get my room in order for me the house was still grimy and I did not feel comfortable staying there. I was so pleased when the temporary housing folks called and said they can put me up in a hotel for a while I was ecstatic. I moved there lickety split. The Hyatt Place is a really beautiful place. Now let me say this, I was only scheduled to stay there for a few days until more "permanent" temporary housing could be located.

Well today I had to move out of paradise and move into an Extended Stay America hotel. For those of you not familiar they are hotels geared for people who need to be away from home for an extended period of time. I checked in today and was less then impressed. It's surely not a Hyatt Place I tell you that. But I'll make it home for the next month or so. Oh well.

So all in all everything is coming along.

I almost forgot to tell you, on Thursday I had to meet the folks that were removing all my furniture and contents to have them cleaned and stored and the people that were going to take my clothes to also have them cleaned and stored. It was way overwhelming to have all these people running in and out of my house. Not to mention the disaster recovery people were there also to continue with the reconstruction process. I just stood in the parking lot out of the way so I wouldn't get trampled on.