Tuesday, October 23, 2007

An Open Letter to My Fathers Daughter

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to primarily get this off my chest. There are some thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head that I think need addressing. It’s funny the impact a TV show could have on a person but I am writing this prompted by a television show I watched last week.

As I sat and watched one of my favorite shows currently on, Grey’s Anatomy, I realized Meredith and her half sister have something in common with you and me. It was then, watching that show I began to realize some of the feelings you were having and I feel I may have been a little insensitive to those feelings and for that I apologize but let’s make no mistake; I do not and will not be made to feel guilty because of the way I grew up.

I know, our lives couldn’t be any different or further apart if we lived on separate continents but that is not my fault.

It’s not my fault that our father chose to leave your mother when you were a little girl.

It’s not my fault that our father met and fell in love with my mother.

It’s not my fault that our father married my mother when he had never married yours.

It is not my fault that there was so much tension and drama back then between all parties involved that my mother and our father chose to flee the state of New Jersey and move thousands of miles away for a little peace.

I’m not saying that was right. Quite frankly, I think all parties involved handled the situation abhorrently. But again, that is not my fault.

It’s not my fault that our father was there with me, for me, everyday of my life until his death.

It’s not my fault that our father stayed absent from your life from the age of 7 until you were 19.

With all that said, I could not understand why every attempt to reach out to you was met with civility but no true warmth or mutual desire from you.

I did not understand that, until I saw Grey’s Anatomy. Please do not hold what happened or did not happen in the past against me as I had nothing to do with the choices our parents made when we were children.

It's not my fault.

Signed
Diva, An Understanding Sister