Do You Have An Ex You Are Not Over?

We've all got a past. Past relationships. I always say that past relationships were just preparing you for when the right one comes along.

When we are in those relationships we are happy and everything is right with the world. We take vacations together, take pictures together and buy each other other gifts from time to time. Most of these things we hold on to and cherish because of the memory and sentiment attached.

The problem is when you leave that relationship and ultimately find yourself in a new one. What do you do with those mementos from relationships past?

Some people keep these items tucked away in a box hidden away from the prying eyes of a lover. Some are like me and discard all of those old items (with the exception of a picture here or there proudly displayed in a photo album under an end table).

What happens when the new lover discovers those cherished mementos? If the new love of your life takes issue with finding these things and insists you get rid of them what do you do? Do you cave and throw all of those memories away? Do you dig in your heels and absolutely refuse to comply?

With me, it depends on a lot of factors. If the guy has a picture of his last girl as a wallpaper on his cell phone or computer or displayed on his fridge or night stand then I might take exception with that.

If the items are tucked away somewhere then I might not bust a gasket. Unless the guy talks continuously about his ex, I would not care if he hid those items away somewhere.

If my new man came to my home and insisted I discard pictures in my photo album or throw away a card that might happen to be in my night stand then I might have to kick him to the curb, swiftly. To me that proves that he is a little insecure and I don't do insecure. Well, not anymore.

What do you guys think?

I Am Not Cut Out For This

I have a confession to make. I am a cute little puppy dog lover. The cuter the better. I love me some puppies. So much so that I contemplated for ages on how I, a person that is always out and about somewhere and absolutely HATES getting up in the morning, who breaks out into a rash every time I even think about walking a dog, could possibly fit one into my life and home. Oh I thought long and hard folks. It would be so wonderful coming home to this cute little adorable creature that only wants to love you up as soon as they see you.

I'm so obsessed that I would stalk the website of a local pet store here in Maryland, www.justpuppies.com just to drool over the cute little furry babies. Then reality hit.

My brother calls me to ask if I could dog watch his (really my mothers) little bichon for the weekend as he was going away on a ski trip. I said sure, no problem but suddenly realized we were about to be hit with a blizzard that weekend and walking a small dog in 2 feet of snow was not my idea of fun. Then I remembered the last time I dog sat....that damn dog started whining to go out at about 5 am. On a Saturday! When he noticed I was not going to get up to take him out just yet his whines became louder, then when that didn't propel me out of bed his whining became loud constant barking so I had to drag my ass out of bed at O Dark Thirty to take his little ass out to walk. If that wasn't bad enough, EVERY second he was out of my sight that little shit would cock his little leg up to mark his territory....all over my damn house...on my damn rug....on my damn furniture.

I said to myself oh hell no! I took his ass to a doggy boarding facility and boarded him for the entire weekend.

I don't want a puppy right now. Who am I kidding...EVER!!

If I ever feel that ping of dog mommyhood calling I'll just go to Just Puppies and play with one of their puppies.

Operation Bust a Gut!!

OK, so you guys remember several weeks ago when I started my gut busting quest right? Of course you do. Operation Bust a Gut is in full swing and here is an update, of sorts.

Well, I forgot to take an initial measurement so I have no freakin idea what my original gut was so to be honest I have no idea if this Ab Circle is even working.

I think I feel a slight difference. But it could be just my imagination. Aahh hell I don't know.

But it's been several weeks now and the commercial said I was going to lose like 10 pounds in 2 weeks or something. Uuhh....that sure as hell didn't happen.

I'm going to keep at it and see if my pants get any bigger.

I wish this slim down crap would happen already, I have some shopping I need to do.

I went on a pseudo date this weekend to Starbucks and the first thing the guy asks me is "Do you work out?"

Is this a trick question? I didn't know I was going to be given a pop quiz if I had I would have studied.

"You just look so skinny." he says. Now see, in my twisted little mind I heard, " You look like a little skinny 12 year old boy, you freak." When the afternoon was over and I was walking to my car I kept looking at myself in the reflection in the shop windows to see if I looked like the too skinny freak I'm sure he meant I looked like.

You just can't win with me. Welcome to my world.

I Have Had IT!

Wow! It's been a whole 7 days since I last posted to this blog. If you have been keeping up with the news you know that things here have been a little crazy with 4 feet of snow. I've been digging out since last weekend. Craziness.

My body is so sore it is unreal. I've used muscles I didn't even know existed. I was not built for all this shoveling snow crap. Do you know there is not a shovel or snow blower to be found here in Maryland. None! Go ahead...try to find one. I'll wait. Told ya. Every place has sold out and it's bananas. I had to shovel my way out with a gardening shovel people! A GARDENING shovel. Craziness.

Hopefully we are done with all this because I can't take much more.

Today I was able to get back to a normal schedule for once. Not sure how I feel about that actually. I kinda liked being snowed in with nowhere to go and plenty of food to eat. I was all good.

It is going to take months for all this snow to melt. If I never see another snow flake in my life it will be too soon.

Mother nature can bite me!

Reaquainted

Many years ago I met a guy while hanging out with friends. It turns out that every time I went to a party he was there. We became casual friends, chatting it up and dancing together when we did see each other. This went on for many years. We of course lost contact for a number of years as we had gotten older and running the street every weekend gave way to marriages and raising families (he has a son).

For some strange reason he popped into my head out of the blue, for no reason early one Sunday morning. I hadn’t seen him in several years so there was no reason why this dude would pop up in my head but he did. I was up and channel surfing on the TV when I came across my church and my pastor preaching. I say that loosely because I haven’t attended a service in a very long time but I still feel that is my church. I have a great relationship with God so whether I go to church or not my faith is still very strong. So as I am watching services on TV I decided to get up and go to church. I’m not sure what motivated me to go on this particular morning but I was on a mission.

I got dressed and headed to church with my bible in hand. I get there and find a seat and within seconds who do I spot? None other then my friend I was thinking about earlier. Creepy huh? Let’s call him Rev. Dr.

So all during service I kept stealing glances at him as he was sitting a few rows in front of me. After church was over he came up to me and gave me a big hug. He used to always do that. We chatted it up for a few minutes and then he walked me out to the front door. I gave him a card with my information on it with instructions for him to call me whenever he had a chance. Boy, I’m smooth I tell ya.

A couple hours later he added me as a friend on facebook. ‘Mmmmm’ I thought, ‘I guess I’ll be hearing from him pretty soon then.’

Well a few days pass and dude never called. WTH! I was surprised as I would have bet both of my kidneys that he was going to call. Then I simply resigned myself to the fact that he would never call and I simply moved on.

About a week and a half later I receive a text from him. OK, that was totally random and out of the blue. Of course I responded. We text back and forth for while until I decided to just go ahead and call him.

On one of our conversations he decides to bare his soul and tell me that he had been in love with me all those years ago and that I had not changed at all in all these years. Wow! OK I did not see that one coming.

Rev. Dr. and I have a mutual friend named Mr. Music whom I’ve known for about as long as Rev. Dr. What Rev. Dr. does not know is that Mr. Music and I had a little “thing” several years ago right after my separation from my husband. It was pretty intense for a minute. We stopped seeing each other and subsequently lost touch. Fast forward about 12 years and I run into Mr. Music at another mutual friend’s house. Baltimore is too damn small. We get reacquainted and he expresses his love for me as well. Oh Oh. Well, it just so happens that I was no longer attracted to Mr. Music anymore. Well, that’s not completely true. Have you ever met someone that you are not really attracted to but they have this sexiness swagger thing going that you find utterly appealing and totally drawn too? Well that’s Mr. Music. I came to my senses and nixed this whole thing in the bud before anything ever happened.

Rev. Dr. doesn’t know any of this so he proceeds to call Mr. Music and tells him that he saw me in church and how he felt about me and all this stuff and Mr. Music apparently just sat there and listened to this. I could only imagine how he felt hearing all this.

Things have been going along very well with Rev. Dr. so far. He’s very sweet and very attentive and an overall great guy. Did I mention that he is studying to be a minister? Yeah.

On one hand I like him but on the other hand I’m not sure I can get involved with an eventual minister. I mean, I cuss sometimes, I go to parties with my friends, I dress….a little… sassy at times. I would have to change all of that to fit into the mold of a minister’s girlfriend. I’m not sure about this one.

I do find it interesting that just at the very moment I was thinking about him after all these years, POOF!, he pops up.

I don’t know about this one folks.

Ask Tee

Alright my lovelies, you know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee.

This is a difficult letter to write but I can't really talk about this to anyone else. Many years ago when I was a child a family member would kiss and fondle me when we visited their house. I was young so I didn't know this was wrong behavior. I didn't feel violated at the time, just confused.

Now, many years later I seem to keep having flashes of these incidents in my head and I'm not sure why.

Is this something that I should just ignore and get over because it's been so many years ago or should I confront this person? Will that make it better? Should I tell the authorities? I'm not sure what to do if anything.

I need your help.

Signed,
Brenda

My Answer:
Dear Brenda,

Wow! This is pretty heavy stuff for you to have to deal with. Let me start off by saying that I am sorry you had to experience this. I just don't get what happens in the minds of people that think it's OK to hurt children. It infuriates me.

Since I am not a psychologist or therapist I really can't give you any substantial advice other then to possibly seek help from one of these professionals. I think they might be able to clear a path to what you need to do.

Readers, I am going to leave this up to you guys to give your feedback on this one.

Good luck Brenda,

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.