You Will Never Believe How My Weekend Ended

So it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Very lovely. The Analyst and I attend a great church service. A really good friend and his new girlfriend come over to visit and they end up staying for dinner. All in all a very lovely day.

After my friends leave I decide I need to go visit my mother for a few so I jump in the car and head over to her place. It's now about 6:10. I arrive and and we have a short but lovely visit. The Analyst requested an Italian Ice from Rita's so on my way home I stop off and grab one for him.

It's now 7:30 pm and I turn down the street that leads to my development and I notice a couple of fire trucks on the street. I'm thinking,'Hmmmm... Something must be going on here. I wonder what.' I then turn onto the circle that leads to my court and notice a few more fire trucks on the court right behind my house. 'Hmmmm...that's awfully close to my house. I wonder if the people behind me are OK?'

I continue around the circle and turn onto my street and see a few more fire trucks RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. I remember thinking, 'Wow. The side of my house is all burned. Maybe it's just the side of my house and the rest of it is fine.' Then I look up into my third bedroom and I see a fireman all in the window. 'This can't be good.'

I then start to see the severity of the situation when I see several firemen coming out of my house. I park the car, get out and walk toward the destruction stunned.

DAMN!!!!

Lovely isn't it?

It was an electrical fire that started from the meters on the side of my house. Lucky me.

Well...Well.....Well

OK, I know it's been ages since I've posted in my blog. You will not believe how crazy it's been. I've been working my ass off and I can't afford that. lol I've had 2 graduations to attend in the last couple days, and so much other stuff going on.

Well, let me start off by saying that The Analyst has finally gotten a job.....Thank God! He has been so stressed lately it's been driving ME crazy but he has a start date of June 1st and he's excited and I'm excited for him. He got a HUGE pay increase too so he's really thrilled about that. The job is in NJ so he'll be staying there during the week and coming to my house on the weekends. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm just glad he'll be working again. Unemployment really takes a toll on a man's self worth and self esteem.

I was called to jury duty Monday. Let me tell you, I have not been called in about 14 years. The exact same thing happened Monday that happened then. I was herded into a holding pin with all the other cattle where we proceeded to wait....and wait.....and wait some more. It was grueling. Every case except one was either settled or postponed so we sat there the entire day looking at old ass movies. Whatever. I was ecstatic when they said "Your time has been served and you are free to go." Can I tell you the woman hadn't even finished her statement when people began pushing and shoving trying to get out of there. I just cowered in the corner until the coast was clear.

I must tell you that there was a woman that had some sort of coughing problem. This woman could not stop coughing, It was brutal and guess what, of course she had to sit next to guess who...you guessed right... ME!!! Damn the luck. Every time this chick coughed I just cringed. It was awful. I hate for people to cough around me because I don't know what airborne illness they may have and I damn sure don't want it. It was agonizing. I was just about to get up and find somewhere else to sit when she decided to get up. Joy of joys.

Oh yeah, I sure could do this jury duty thing every day.

Modern Day Sex Experts

Ok, I have been pondering this question for about a week now. Why does it seem that modern day sex experts that rise to fame are old women? I’m just curious. It seems that old women have taken the lead at being the world’s leading experts on all things sexual.

This question came to mind when I was watching the Oxygen channel one day and they were advertising the series finale of the Sue Johanson show. Remember years ago the guru of human sexuality was none other then Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Remember her?

Do you see a pattern here? When you think of human sexuality you think of young, attractive people. Not senior citizens. I find this very interesting.

I’m just wondering. lol

Don't Call Me in the Event of a Medical Emergency!

Ok, anyone that knows me knows that I am so not good in an emergency. If someone is choking, bleeding or passed out I am running in the opposite direction. Trust!

I just can't help it. I could never work as a medical professional! I would get fired within the hour!

Case in point, I was working downtown and I was walking around during lunch time to run an errand. I was walking along this really busy main street when up in the distance I saw this little old lady kneeling on the ground. I stopped for a moment to assess the situation. I then slowly continued on my path. As I approached the woman I could see that she was bleeding rather profusely from her forehead and her eyeglasses were twisted on the ground. Oh no...what am I to do?

I try to help folks when I can. I try to be a good citizen, kind and generous but this is beyond my capabilities. There was BLOOD for goodness sakes!

I stopped, asked the poor woman if she was ok. She, in a very weakened voice, said "No." I looked behind me and saw there were two women coming up in our direction.

I thought to myself 'Hmmm, these women look like they can help this woman. I bet they would know exactly what to do.' So I turned around and did what any self respecting scaredy cat would do.....RUN OFF!

I couldn't help it, I kept going. I just couldn't deal with the blood!

I feel so terrible!!!

Another situation arose. I was in Atlantic City, NJ with a friend. We were having breakfast in this quaint restaurant when all of a sudden, I could see straight ahead of me a man slumping down in his seat next to his wife. The woman immediately began to scream, "Someone help!!"

I did what I do best, I immediately jumped up and started running toward the front door making a beline right outta there!!! Forgetting my purse and everything!

My friend had to call me back to make me stay.

Just please don't call me in an emergency

OK I Am Lame But I Don't Care!

Ok guys, this may be lame but I am sooo excited I finally got my phone I told you I ordered on eBay. I can't stop playing with it trying to figure out how to operate it. I am having a blast.

Here it is!! lol Those of you that have this phone know just how cool it is.

Aaaaww....No He Didn't.

Sunday found me running errands that I had been putting off. One such errand was to go to the laundromat to wash my bed comforters. Unfortunately, they are too large to fit into the washer and dryer I have at home. DRATS! I hate going to the laundromat, I really do.

Anyway, I pull into the parking lot and grab two of the three comforters from the back seat and the laundry detergent. I proceed into the laundromat and locate one of the very large washers and quickly deposit the comforters into said washer then walk over to the change machine to get quarters. As I turn to walk away from the change machine this rather scraggly looking kid walks up to me. He mumbled something incoherently and I asked him to repeat it. He repeated what he said but I still could not make out what he said except something about "change" and "help you". I naturally assumed he wanted to help me with my laundry for some spare change. I quickly but nicely told him no and moved on with my business thinking that was the end.

2 minutes later as I was adding detergent to the washer the same kid walked up to me and proceeded to tell me how at a loss for words he was and how beautiful I was and asked if he could take me to dinner one night soon. I was thinking....'Are you kidding me?' This kid looked to be about 22 years old (old enough to be my son mind you), hair hadn't been combed in days. Remember, I thought he was a kid essentially begging for change. Now he's asking me for a date.

I'm not a mean person so I very gently told him that I had a boyfriend but thanks for the offer, it was sweet. He then proceeded to say, "Well, can you take my number just in case things don't work out?"

OK, I kept my composure because I didn't want to hurt the little fella's feelings or break his spirit so I simply said, "Thanks so much but we are quite happy so I don't see that changing. You're very sweet though. Take care." And with that he was gone.

Poor thing, he actually thought he had a chance. I must give it to him, he had guts.

Ok, You Are Just Nasty

Yesterday after work I needed to go to the grocery store. Upon reaching the checkout line I noticed that the woman in front of me had a nasty cold. She was purchasing some facial tissues and couldn't even wait to get out of the store before she began using them. She opened the flap of the tissue box and started using tissue after tissue after tissue. She blew her nose numerous times.

As I reached the conveyor belt to place my items I noticed that next to her open box of tissues was a crumpled up used one. Okay GROSS! I immediately caught an attitude and you could see it all over my face. I came THIS CLOSE to asking her if she see's that nasty ass tissue but decourum prevailed and I kept my mouth shut.

And then I noticed something equally as disgusting. After she blew her nose she'd throw the used tissue into her basket. Eeeeeiiiiiiwwwww!!!!! The bottom of her cart was filled with nasty, crumpled, snotty tissues. Ok I was fuming because that is just nasty as hell.

After the cashier gave the woman her change and she turned to leave he then turned his attention to me and noticed how disgusted I was. He proceeded to sanitize his hands before he helped me. THAT I appreciated. I told him I hope she cleans all that crap out of her cart.

Well, I completed my transaction, grabbed my bags and cart and proceeded out of the door. I looked to the left and noticed the nasty heffer placing her bags in her car. I walked to my car and watched her to see if she would throw the tissues out. She instructed her young son to take the cart to one of those cart drop off stations.....AND HE DID NOT REMOVE THE NASTY ASS TISSUES!!!

Okay talk about being grossed out. How can someone be so nasty. DAMN!!!! EEEIIIIWWWWW!!!